Any New Year's Resolutions?

Yes.

I'm going to be nicer to myself.

It doesn't matter who you are, where you are or what you do, the last week in December is always a time of reflection.

This year, I only have the last two working days of work for Christmas, and in my business you really don't feel very Christmassy in the lead-up, except maybe on Christmas Day, by which time it always seems like an anti-climax.

However, every year about this time, you're looking back over the year, thinking of the shitty times and hoping the next year is better. Isn't this just wishing your life away in a different form? I can't help thinking forward. I'm not a planner, more a by-the-seat-of-my-pants sorta girly, wondering what's going to happen next, or more often, ostriching myself in the proverbial sand.

2008 will be my last full year in debt. This time next year, I will be looking at my blog thinking there is just over 3 months to go and I will be beholden to no-one. Soon I will be counting off the days like a personal advent calendar, much like I did during my final written warning period.

Stupid way to live really. I should be making plans - like losing weight, stopping smoking, getting my career on a path that is more satisfying - and yet - typical British Human Female - I'm running up and down on the same spot very quickly just to function.

Enough of the morbid reverie. It's Christmas Eve tomorrow and I've got to work. There will be food everywhere and just maybe I'll be let off early. There's a gorgeous lump of prize beef waiting to be roasted on the day and a husband who is really happy with his lot and frankly, so am I. I don't need to strive for happiness - no-one does - they have their dice or whatever God has given them and there is gold there if they can only look for it.

I haven't blogged for a while, and I put that down to extreme laziness.

Perhaps the most remarkable thing that happened this month is that the payroll went so well - we finished two days ahead of schedule and the total errors discovered after pay day was two. Me and JH are arguing over a possible third, unfortunately the boss agrees with them.

I've also started a short story, which I may or may not finish in time to submit; or maybe by that time I will develop an extreme form of my disease - the one which doubts my ability.

SOH hasn't been well for nearly two weeks now and he almost refused to go to the fireworks Saturday night.

Actually, we both shouldn't have bothered. Usually the fireworks are well organised and good fun, however, this year they blocked the road off too late so the car parks were full, so pedestrians had to run the gauntlet with the traffic; the 'gates' were poorly organised so that people could walk in without paying; the fireworks lasted barely 10 minutes, which is disgusting, most displays last at least 20 and the kids were really disappointed, as was I.

C'm'on Abergele Round Table, you've done a lot better than that.

Well who'd have thought my profession could be 'emergency' huh? Well, that's what happened to our temp today, having been to the interview yesterday, starts a new short term contract job on Monday.

And another one bites the dust.

Me and JH, been there, seen it, done it, and no parole for good behaviour.

I'm really pants at keeping a diary, but maybe that's not so surprising. Took an excellent course last week, paid for by the company, called "Effective Interpersonal Skills". As part of it, you do the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator Test to measure your "average" personality, particularly at work. I ended up being INTP, the main indicator being "Logic" which didn't especially surprise me. Basically, I am intraverted, more intuitive than factual, a thinker rather than a feeler and have an off-the-cuff attitude rather than planned. I also learned that my SOH has almost the exact opposite indicator to me (he wouldn't take the MBTI even if asked, but he would most definitely come out ISFJ and at times, ESFJ).

Learnt a lot about myself and why my relationships with others can sometimes be difficult. Reading the MBTI book, I had to laugh, what an annoying person I can be at work sometimes.

Lots to think about.

The self help book on writing novels is americanised, but excellent. It's already given me some ideas in how to improve "Echoes" and also encouraged me to think about writing some short stories.

I think I'm going to reprise a short story I wrote in my teens that was submitted for a competition - it didn't win, but the story was limited to 500 words, whereas most competitions limits are a lot more. I think the story is still sound, though I'm going to change it slightly and I'll have more words to play with. The various compos I've looked at tend to give free critiques as well.

I'm getting a really really good feeling about all this. Perhaps I should polish up my English grammar though.